at 1.05[6]am

ok i know its a crzy time to blog, but i just feel like blogging anyway and happy birthday to.. nvm.

yall, exams gonna be over in 2 more days but bfore that we'd have to face the torment of amaths. its gonna be a killer!

well exams over but debrief has yet to come. and that means the years ending and wer're gonna b sec4s soon.

i don want to enter sec4 so fast.

it does feels fast, like what they say today ure lost at cch, ur first day being a sec1, in a new sch, new friends, new surroundings, and ure gonna carry out homeostasis real fast. sry, homeo's for intrnal envirnment. ok then ure busy searching for ur class with a tinge of anxiety wearing super long skirts and socks and real neat hair looking like a nerd. and the nxt moment, no u didnt find ur class, ure stepping out of the sch and leaving behind all those memories and unenjoyed times and regrets.

ok serious. i think i didnt really interacted well with my class. k how many of them actually knew i had this blog? ok some may know. again i emphasize may. i dont really feel that close to them, even though i had times when i really wanted to do my part and go further than talking and smiling and saying hi. maybe its built in or smth. maybe the distance's still there. somehow i cant help but keep feeling, am i keeping too much to myself? am i restricting myself to widening my social circle? its like what they say coop up in a nest. in chinese its 井底之蛙. well it always appear as the loner, well im still trying hard to bond closer to the class, but i dont know why i cant seem to go any further. do i have psychological prob? i dont know what the others think abt me, well maybe they feel im a nerd or a noob or smth. i guess u cant really count on first impressions.

thats a long para, i'll continue here. yea, i know why not many of them knew i have a blog cos i didnt tell them. k its my fault cos i want to wait for things to simmer down first a bit. k maybe smths wrong with my sentence structure. gee this is a long post, but at least they're abt my true feelings abt spending times in and with 3it. i guess thats what always happen. ok sec1 i wont say, take cdc. when i first joined the cca, serious, i was lonely and maybe gave ppl the impressions that i was serious and quiet. -.- of course i was on good terms with ppl, but i dont have any that i was close to and could talk. not even elva then.

so it was until sec2 that things took a change. well towards end of sec1 i was on closer terms with weike. yea, but then it was the two of us again. i seemed to be unable to break out of the spell or whatever and go ahead instead of being just an aquaintance(whatever spelling). well i tot i was emo, but couldnt it be improved? surely ones emoness cldnt last that long? well it seemed that i was always emo. aww~

k so im here posting instead of resting and allow my bone marrow to have rest and reproduce more rbcs to replace those that were destroyed? it seemed that i liked bio(duh-uh) more aft eoy. crazy. haha bio rocks!

cldnt think of anything else to post. yes and ppl if u happen to come to my blog and saw this post(or not), pls tag k? my tagboard seriously needs some help! thanks. oh yes im shorthanded in the links portion too, so pls give me ur links! thanks:D

with that, i end my 30min speech. thank you for ur attentiveness and patience and have a good night. k its dawn now.