2ep picnic

hmmm todays is ep picnic. well im not thr, at ecp now, duh if not i wudnt be posting this. im feeling rather mixed. mixed as in going or not. yea im really sry to yimeng n peeps, troubling them in my decisions. hmmm is like, at first im really really anticipatin this gathering, cos its like veryveryvery long nv see everyone as a class le. although i really must admit tt e bond btwn me n ep is not as strong as compared to it, hmmm i wanted to go la. but last min i backed out, cos its like, pointless?? not tt im agreeing with weiting la, but its like i go i oso tgt with weike. its like, like chalet like tt. im stickin arnd n i feel redundant. not exactly la, but its like i dw to just go n tok to weike tt kind of thing. yaya my fault agn n sometimes i dont like myself cos of this thing.

like how come others dont have it yet i do?? what e hells wrong with me lah??? ruin everything n shut many doors for me. i tried to change duh who doesnt want to change but its not helping. grrr variation??? ya i shud be happy im so lucky n blah but its like.... ahh i dno how to say. really really hope this prob doesnt follow me to jc or whrever. ohoh back to main point.

hmm i tried to have fun durin chalet but jus cant. aft some time i'll start emoing, ahhh no. not emoing. become silent n dont tok. then ppl will tot i something wrong. lol!! hmmm how??? n i really dont wish to tie weike down. i dw to limit her social circle. hmmm this is life bah.

k on a lighter note, i still haven finish any hw yet!!! started but lazy to complete. lol which wire of mine is loose?? only 2 more weeks to go n hw dint finish still so happy. lol n more lols. its time to reflect!! *looks into mirror n sees reflection*

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