I'm angry.

With myself of course.

It's very hot inside here. What is wrong with the weather nowadays:(

And what is wrong with me?

I suddenly became shy with people I know but did not talk for long time. Like.... yesterday?

And the day before yesterday...

To tell the truth.. I've been very (to the power of alot alot alot alot alot alot) uncomfortable. Now who was it who asked me how were we like, like how bonded we are? Hmmm.. I can't remember. I think I answered "ok lah." But inside I knew the answer clearly.

The first thought I had in my head was... No. Before I even answered "ok lah." I don't know how it's going with the others, but I don't really feel comfortable mixing with people I absolutely don't know. I've been trying to ice-break, but I cannot go past that psychological barrier.

The fact is clear. I know what I should do. But I hadn't got a sense of direction. Am I torturing myself?

Went out in the morning. And I was late. And I was shy. Went for lunch yesterday. And I suddenly felt shy. Like, I don't know what to say to the rest. And I didn't give them the note. And then went tampines after some internal battle. And then I felt shy again. Maybe because I was the only one in school uniform. I don't like that feeling.

I'm stressed recently. Very. And I feel like giving up some of my commitments. Commitments that I thought I shouldn't even take up in the beginning. Because I still had a lot to settle. The personality flaws that I detest.

How ironic, I'm everything that I hate. (And I repeated that sentence for the nth time)

Off to lunch and freeze in ice boxes to cool off that sweat. And I really dread tomorrow. Please don't let my world fall apart tomorrow.

A very emotional post/